There is something in the silence of the night. The serenity of the moonlight, that helps to heal. Take the force of nature and regenerate your body, mind and soul.
Tag: thoughts
Progression or Regression?
This is not a math question. This is a question about you in many, many situations. Look at the picture below. What do you think of the drawing?
When my friend asked me, I told him my interpretation was that of an artist who started from a simplistic stroke and, with time and practise, mastered the art of a realistic sketch. I’m sure on the other side of Whatsapp he had a good laugh. He told me it was a meme that depicted a project one starts with great interest but at the end becomes detached, mostly related to the corporate world. At the end, he also thought about my perspective and sent an emoji in consent.
This picture didn’t leave my mind. The overactive wheels were set to run. My thought-hamster soon found a third perspective; this meme can also be someone starting a project earnestly, but rushing it in the end. Bad boss? Deadlines? Mismanagement of time? There can be as many reasons as you can think of!
Regression
In today’s day and time, we often start things we love to do with enthusiasm over the cloud, but we don’t maintain our pace. It may be lack of discipline, work-life balance issues, negative criticism from other people, a mind block, or a simple reason like not getting enough likes on social media (sob sob…). People have lesser and greater issues to not pursue what they start. They don’t sit back, reflect and correct their path. Ultimately, that’s a spiral stairway down a basement for them. Now, they can sit in the corner basement with their head down or go back up and do it again.
Progression
For the ease of this short article, assume we are referring to ordinary people like yours truly. These ordinary ones who refuse to do down the spiral stairways are either ignorant, resilient, or rigid. An ignorant person would keep on perfecting his art, keep on adding the details, keep on reworking without a vision or aim besides satisfying his own desire. Rigid people, though seeing what’s wrong and knowing they need reforms, will continue stubbornly. This doesn’t lead to any good result. The resilient ones are those who are knocked down by criticism or competition, but get back up with a new strategy. Mostly, it is the resilient ones who refuse to go down and find better ways to achieve an objective.
Mis-management of time
Do you really, really don’t have time to start workout at home? Or painting on weekends? Or working on your mercurial temper or stress levels? Are you sure you just cannot find the time to be with your loved ones, travel or make your meals once in a while? If no, then you have some serious issues. Let me tell you, the serious issue is YOU unwilling to WORK to make a change. Sleep on it! If you don’t have time to sleep, figure out WHY. Eliminate unnecessary things from life. Stop checking mails on Sunday, maybe (sorry, boss…)!
Why I didn’t assume we are referring to ordinary people in Regression?
Did you see what I did there? I am NOT going to assume the people rolling down the spiral stairways are only ordinary ones, because it can happen to the best of us. It can happen to geniuses, people famed for their charm and charisma, people lauded for their strength. People fall out of fame, they fall down from the epitome of success into regression. However, like us ordinary people, they can refuse to go down and get right back up!
To conclude…
Apply these three conditions in any circumstance of your life. Where do you stand? Whether it’s work, family or your personal goals, how things go are in your hands. You decide if you want to get up and rise, you decide what to cut and what to grow. Your life is your garden. Prune the shrubs, grow the trees and weed out what you don’t want. Lastly, I can’t emphasise more on taking care of your body as much as your mind and heart.
May the force be with you this summer!
Originally published in: Perspicere, TOI Blogs
O Woman, You Rily Being!
Vivacious and undeterred, ambitious and bold to the fault. Yes, we are rily women!
We are the half of us, mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, friends, business women, working women, housewives, and in every role you can label. With every tag you give us, we grow and come out stronger; even if it is a nasty label! We are the women of today. We are the rily beings.
We, the rily women, the storm-bringers and the typhoon chasers, sing as we stroll through the whirlwinds. Nothing can stop us from reaching where we want to be! We will work it out, one way or the other. Through the thunders and the rains, betrayals and injustice, whatever you put in our way.
We are the caretakers of the world, we can wash the dirt you throw at us. We can wash you out too, like a baby in our arms. Wail and cry, do what you want! We are the pillars you build legacies on. We are, ultimately, the ones shaping them all! We are the rily beings who heal your fears and cast away shadows and tears. You will come back to us after the long day ends, whoever you are.
We are the rily beings who shake things up, who look at the colourful future, who take the long path home to see the sunset on the way, who nature created to make this world a beautiful place!
Imagine, if you stopped throwing stones at us, stopped blocking our paths and darkening our days? What if you accepted our fluid hearts and free souls, strong emotions and feminine grace?
We’d have more time to make the future better, to make the world an even more beautiful place!
We, the rily women, are making the future and building bridges, going places no one thought we would, doing things you thought were crazy for a woman to do. But that is what we have been doing since the beginning of the time; evolution is nothing but feminine! You were just blinded by the curtain of ego, disbelief and pride. But have you not heard, it is love that makes you blind?
Love is a lady, beautiful and sublime, a flower that blossoms even in a winter’s night. Maybe you forget time to time, but it is also for us, for who you make a life!
It is ok, now, for the rily women who chase the storms will bring winds to tear the curtains down. Peek out of the darkness, it’s once again the break of dawn!
We, the rily women, are the winds and the waves; dancing, crashing, and carving our ways! We are the force existing from the start of life, always moving the world and shaping today.
Originally published in: TOI Blogs, Perspicere
Sabotage of the self
I know it was not under my control and I tried everything in my power to make it happen. It didn’t. I know I should accept the reality and move on; I am more than capable of making a better future, but this feeling of disappointment doesn’t go away! It is crushing, it is irreparable.
And I know I have the power to move on, but I’m unable to let go.
Have you experienced a similar narrative echo in your head? Have you faced a situation where you have given your all for something but you couldn’t get it; a situation you know you can overcome but the feeling of losing despite giving your all is sharp enough to stop you in your tracks? Let this cycle continue long enough and it will be the sabotage of the ‘self’.
When I think about it, self-sabotage is something similar. It is a behaviour that interferes with one’s life goals and happiness. Self-medication, self-injury, comfort eating, procrastination are self-sabotaging activities. We usually have an option to consciously control these behaviours with focus on goals and alignment of habits. Self-sabotaging can be contained with some effort..
What’s more concerning is the sabotage of the ‘self’. We don’t even realise we are doing it to ourselves! It is invisible to us. In some unthinkable or hard situations you aren’t consciously harming yourself but subconsciously, you are. You may not be ‘self-sabotaging’ but you may be sabotaging the ‘self’!
What is Self?
The concept of ‘self’ in Psychology is about how you perceive yourself. It is about how you think you are as a person, how you believe others see you and how you think you fit into the world. Superiority, inferiority, motivation, determination, disbelief, the sense of quitting or braving hardships are some of the results of you thinking about ‘you’ in a particular way.
Walt Disney had self-belief in the power of his storytelling, Warren Buffet had the self-clarity as a child that he never wanted to be poor in life, and Hitler had the self-perception (or self-deception) that he was meant to purify the world..
‘Self’ is a superpower a human can wield, in many ways!
Most of our ‘self’ forms when we are kids, but it changes with circumstances, experiences and introspection. How to turn these experiences, even the worst ones, into something constructive is the challenge.
Enhancing the ‘Self’
Now that you have come across a hardship, what is your first thought? Is it to run away, find a solution or maybe to do nothing? In any case, there is a sense of fear. How you control that fear or uncertainty depends on how your self-perception has formed you over the years.
Is your self-perception weak in any way? That’s totally ok! Because now you have an opportunity to transform your subconscious and upgrade your internal software. If your perception of ‘self’ is awesome, then just go on, make it better!
Go back right to the first moment you can remember yourself being aware. What happened? What events scared you, made you happy, made you angry, or evoked any strong feeling in your heart? Often, the feelings that scar a person are formed in childhood. You have to embrace what happened as something in past that you could not have changed and move on from it. Forgive people for your peace of mind, make peace with any hard reality. It can seem impossible but the rest of your life can’t be spent in chains! Set yourself free, even if it means seeking an expert’s help.
Think of all these little and big events of your life up till now. Let go of every disappointment and nightmare. Just like a phoenix rises from its own ashes, rise up and fly!
Read up!
In history, from ancient to contemporary times, you will find brave souls around the world. Read about these men and women, read true events and stories, read about civilisations built to the epitome of glory and destroyed to rot in dust. You will find your sense of ‘self’ transform and even transcend with a shift in your perception of the world. Your knowledge and clarity about ‘self’ will grow.
Also, you will find people in this world who have had it tougher than you but have lived on true to their ideals. Be inspired by such role models.
Change the Words
Now, this comes from my personal experience as well as a lot of reading from books like ‘As a Man Thinketh’. Let’s rephrase the negative self-talk:
I know it was not under my control and I tried everything in my power to make it happen. It didn’t and I accept it. I know I should accept the reality and move on and so I will move on even if it’s babysteps; I am more than capable of making a better future, but this feeling of disappointment doesn’t go away so I will take it one hour a day! It is crushing, it is irreparable, but I will rise from ruins and build myself again.
And I know I have the power to move on, but I’m unable to let go, so I will forgive myself for the past and smile at the good memories. Alongside I will make new memories and explore my life for beautiful things I was blind to.
A change in narrative, a twist in tone, one at a time is all it takes. At last, I will leave you with words of Thomas Szasz:
‘The self is not something that one finds. It is something that one creates.’
Originally published for: TOI Blogs, Perspicere
To Baby or Not to Baby
Would you sue your parents for giving you birth?
Raphael Samuel, a young man from Mumbai did. He says he was made to be born into our chaotic world of despair, all without his consent. He feels giving birth to a new person is selfish, unjust and an act of coercion. There’s no need for another life to be born into suffering when it could’ve avoided the pain by never coming into being. He is, what you call, an anti-natalist. This is a part of contemporary philosophy that says bringing a new life on Earth is cruel. Parents are responsible for the pain a ‘new life’ endures even as the right to well-being is basic. You maybe be glad you are alive now, but if you were given a chance, maybe you wouldn’t want to be born.
As an individual, he definitely has the right to follow his beliefs. I, however, feel anti-natalism is a flawed logic.
Read my full article in TOI Column ‘Perspicere’ here.
Or click on the link here: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/perspicere/to-baby-or-not-to-baby/
Someone Like You
You, who were the sunlight of my life in the darkest times,
Giving me warmth from the bright twinkles in your eyes and your hearty smiles!
You, who’s embrace melted my walled core and fears,
You, even someone like you has weaker sides.
You reminded me that the Sun sets and it’s night even after the brightest summer morning,
You reminded me that memories of such melting comforts can be crushing.
You, someone like you, can make and break,
And be someone else’s sun from the next day.
Forget yesterday, forget the summer’s sweet days!
You, someone like you is a boon and a curse,
Flipping someone like me between fire and ice,
You, someone like you is the one I thank and wish to forget in a single prayer,
Some haunting that makes me smile, some bliss that gives me a scare…
You, someone like you, I’m blessed to have met but will never want to meet again,
It’s someone like you that makes a fool wise,
Someone like you I pray I find and keep this time,
As my own Sun without any nights…
And someone like you, you know, will never find,
The Moon’s calming silver light to liven up your soul,
For there’s only one Moon that brings tides!
So, someone like you may be the centre of another’s universe,
But someone like you will never me mine.
Someone like me will revel in the soothing silvery nights,
Hoping for a Sun that always gives the Moon it’s light,
No eclipse,
Only the moon Playing with the sea and forests and all that’s wild,
Spreading a beautiful silver after the moonrise.
Rikshawala
I have been thinking a lot about cycle rikshawalas since coming to Delhi. They take a lot of pain to earn a meagre amount, all the while breathing in the Delhi smog deep in their lungs all day! Today, looking at a man easily 45 plus who was standing outside my office hoping to get a rider, I felt pity. I hesitated. Is it even fair to make a mid-aged man haul me? It was 9 already. The nights are cold here and it gets very dark around my office. I chose to let him haul me out of the insecurity arising as I stood in the shadowy road alone.
He did his best. On the upward slope of the road, before I could consider getting down for him, he got down as pulled the rickshaw with his arms. Downwards on the road he rode like a young boy enjoying the cold breeze on his face.
That’s when it hit me. Why should I pity anyone for a job they chose to pick? He may not have a lot of options, but of the few he did, he chose to own a cycle rickshaw.
Age doesn’t matter to him, why should I be so arrogant as to pity him? One thing I have learnt is to never pity a person for doing a job that helps in survival or , for us, seems unthinkable. I have been taught this all my life and I feel it’s important; always respect people who earn fair and square, whether through the sweat on their brows or the thoughts in their head!
Rise in the Fall
Even in its fall, a flower fulfills its purpose of spreading beauty. What deters you to stop being who you are? Be what are meant to be.
Quote from a random conversation!
This one is from my friend Srimathi who we lovingly call Srimi. A bittersweet line to end the day!
#TextCutie
What’s Your Angle?
Everyone has a perspective of their own. Our culture, family, schooling, and many other factors shape us as we grow. Most of the disagreements, misunderstandings and confrontation exists due to the different ways people see the world.
Can we try understanding them from their point of view? That would bring a lot of peace in our lives!
A Spontaneous Thought
Never mind who, where and when. Get out there and live your present without discrimination. Without judgements. Time will tick and move ahead. Little things of past won’t really matter; in fact, you will forget so many moments!
But if you leave opportunities of enjoying life and sharing moments, you may regret it later. Make memories and live 😃
My Journey, A Little Different From Other
I walk the William Wordsworth lane,
And listen closely to The Ancient Mariners chant,
Carmen Fantasy plays in my mind,
Beethoven also can.
I learn from the strangers and animals and nature,
And also from One Piece,
When I stargaze at the twinkling skies,
Stories from mysterious spaces come to me!
I walk a little further, exploring every time,
And the Pursuit of Happyness continues,
For I believe life has a gift,
For everyone in the time that is due.
Infrastructure vs The Basic Structure: How The Big and The Small Things are Connected?
In the latest joint-parliamentary meeting, the Hon. President of India clearly stated the blueprint of the new government. It is a laudable to-do list! They have covered the much needed points, especially about the Infrastructure, corruption, and black money. Infrastructure is an indispensable part of an economy, and India is leagues behind from its contemporary rivals China, Brazil, Taiwan, and South Africa. Corruption is the grass-root level of decay in India, so yes, it has to be weeded out of the system. Black money again is a big problem. It must be brought back in circulation and steps should be strictly taken against it in future. There are many more big problems like brain drain, illegal immigration, a moldy education system, messy town planning ( I think it should be a whole different department), environmental degradation, e-governance, etc.
But what about the small problems? What about the problems that we see every day and have grown so used to that we have learned to live with them? What about the problems that have direct effect on our peace of mind? Let me jot down examples to remind you.
If you are in Mumbai, you know about how dirty the railway terminals are. You would know about the nallas, the slums, Juhu beach loaded with filth, to point out a few. These are supposed to be grand and sparkling as they are in the Financial Capital and Bollywood centre of India, where thousands of people gather every day, including tourists. What does it do to our thought process? No amount hit movies or tall buildings can fix this image.
Delhi- ites know what a black and white city Delhi is, with clean and neat metros and roads in contrast with jammed and crammed, stinking market places and localities. The old and the New Delhi are two different worlds. So are CP and areas like Kamla market. What does it makes people who see the mess everyday think? No number of metro rails or even bullet trains can reduce this difference.
Bhopal, my very own city, could be an international favorite only if the town plan wasn’t messy, if BRTS was introduced AFTER widening the roads (possible only and only with a good town planning!), if the areas around the lakes, dams and heritage sites could be built in a modern standard and saved from encroachment, if only people didn’t throw garbage wherever they wanted… No amount of building malls will correct the tainted scenery.
You begin to think- this mess is the reality, and that’s how it’s going to be. Deal with it, or migrate to a foreign land.
TO ALL INDIANS. You know how many throw garbage out of the train. Simply because there is no dustbin in the coach. Why can’t we complain, or collect the mess in a bag and keep it in a corner?
You know how many spit and dirty public places even if there are dustbins.
You know how you ignore complaining to the authorities when public toilets, places are not clean. That’s because the authorities don’t care, I agree.
But can this cycle of ignorance and blame game continue? It’s like a wheel in zero gravity; spinning without moving forward, eternally in one place.
The development in Infrastructure, manufacturing industry, and in every other sector will mean NOTHING if the walls are covered in pan spit and garbage, and if the toilets stink. Can you imagine entering a world-class railway terminal with stained walls and garbage all around, with no proper services? Zero corruption level will not help if people don’t wake up and realize that clean and beautiful cities are their RIGHT and they should demand it. Visuals have a deep affect on a human’s psychology. What you see is what you believe in. You see garbage, you believe that that is the reality. Ignorance settles in, but subconsciously you want out. This leads to unsatisfied and frustrated citizens. No amount of increase in GDP and PPP will satisfy these frustrated masses. If they don’t see the development, how will they believe in it?
So what can Policy- makers do?
With a new enthusiasm and energy, they can set a special department or team for reaching the roots of this mess. It starts from the higher ups in bureaucracy. Give them targets, give them incentives, give them strict instructions to keep a check. TRAIN them as per the modern needs and international standards. As you go lower, give the workers, cleaners and other people doing odd jobs training and equipment. Make their work respectable!Good administration and effective communication is very important here. What happens is, that people with seemingly insignificant jobs like cleaning, sitting on counters, making rounds to check on others, labour jobs, etc. are not educated, trained, informed, or equipped. Even if they know what to do, no one checks if they are doing their jobs right (For an example, the general and sleeper coaches in a train is a mess. Let’s not even bring up the toilets!) As people already have no expectations, there is no strict action. The cycle thus again goes to the higher ups.
I propose that at least half the jobs regarding administration, implementation and grievances/ complaints should be given to management students. The lack of training and proper standards for government jobs recruitment at railways, ticket counters, public hospitals, various registration centers should be corrected. Proper checks must be ensured, and their performance measured. Complaints should be quickly handled.
Cleanliness, government and citizen communication, quick solutions to the problem are the basic structure of growth besides trade and economy. The newer cities should be planned with future in prospects in mind to avoid repetitions of the present problems. These are the little services that make a ‘beautiful’ economy. The policy makers should introduce reforms and policies, to make what already exists, better!
What should citizens do?
AWAKE!! Realize that the higher standards of life can be reached for the rich and the poor alike if public areas are clean and beautiful! It is your right! The standard of living rises with better hygiene, more happiness, and communication with a government that responds and helps. A beautiful house can give you peace only until you stay in. But once you step out to work or just for a stroll, it depends on your surroundings to either frustrate or invigorate. Promote environment friendly culture, use bicycles whenever possible, stop treating your cities and towns like garbage cans or washbasins or toilets, be an active citizen! If every person keeps his area of the town clean, if every municipality does its work like it should be, the day isn’t far when we will ‘feel’ India becoming a superpower instead of just reading about it in newspapers. Society is another name for tolerance, patience, and unity combined. It can either strive to move forward or starve and die.
I am going to start an awareness revolution by questioning the authorities and telling them about what I see wrong. I will take advantage of the newly formed government’s energy, and help them it in reaching the bigger goals through small steps. It won’t matter if I’m in Bhopal or outside. I will do my part. Will you?
An April’s Fool
I joined a job as an administrator in a coaching institute. The very first day of my very first job began with vigor and eagerness to learn. Managing people, managing records, the secret files and financial know-how… I wanted to attain it all as quickly as I could have. It has been 12 days now. Today is the thirteenth day of my job, and all I have done is to create excel sheets and make calls. Is it under-utilization of the human resources that this place already lacks? Is it just bad luck that there are no big companies in my city?
For God’s sake, I just received a call from a weird student who hung up without listening to my whole response!
I have been pondering over my restlessness, reflecting on myself. A girl like myself who has good communication skills, technical qualifications, a degree in Business Administration, and is eager to stride to the top of life is stuck with calls and excel sheets? Today, I finally came to terms with myself.
Recently, having a ton of free time at the office, I’ve been reading articles and e-news a lot. There are so many people out there doing so many ordinary things in an extraordinary way. Some actually do extraordinary things. There are people going from rags to riches, and rising on the top as I write. One thing common between them all is;
THEY DON’T HAVE A CRAPPY JOB! Or more precisely, NO JOB IS CRAPPY FOR THEM!
Warren Buffett has sold chewing gums and papers. Walt Disney struggled as a cartoonist in the beginning. Jamshetji Tata was a simple trader before having towns named after him! Jackie Chan was just an extra when he started. J.k Rowling was rejected by dozens of publishers! According to many of us, we are too qualified for our jobs. What is there to learn? But these big bosses had their own set of mind. They had dreams. They were determined to do what they wanted to in life. Failures and criticisms were just the ways of improvement for them. In times of desperation, they focused on their dreams and stayed calm, never ceasing to think about the next step!
They loved what they did. They decided what they loved. While I conceitedly complain how overqualified I am for my job, there are people consistently working towards achieving their goals. Many of these might have a supposedly crappy job to earn a living while they plan their moves! Job satisfaction is crucial to a persons happiness, but I discovered that having a clear view of what you want is the key to job satisfaction! Its a chain reaction!
Now, all I have to do is keep my eyes on the future I want to create (I want to be published, have my own production houses and hotel chains, seriously), and learn. I must decide what I want and earn it. Its not just me, but also a whole lot of people like me who need to realize how life makes an April’s fool out of you. Though born in April, I shouldn’t fall into the rat-trap and become one!
So, my dear reader, lets get wise this April’s Fool Day! Große Träume! *
*dream big
Have a happy day!
Mansi_B
The more they judge…
The more they judge my expressions, the most phlegmatic I become. Not for the sake of what they say, but for the sake of my own peace. Thus, I lose my innate freedom of expressions. And, feeling proud of the illusion that I’m getting stronger and guilty of losing my own pieces, I layer up a mask around my face. Every layer scratched from inside paints the surface.
A realization I had one day… but now I know for sure MEDITATION and positive thoughts can make you yourself once again! I will soon writea bout it 🙂
Related articles
- The more they judge… (minutesout.wordpress.com)
MinutesOut by Mansi Babbar 